Season 2: Episode 10 - Born To Be Alive

Happy birthday Geminis & Happy Pride. You were born to be alive but are you living? Episodes released on Tuesdays or Fridays.

Transcript

Darline Berrios: 0:03

Hey, everyone, welcome to Share Your Sparkle and I'm your host, Dr. Darline Berrios. This is season two, Episode 10. Born to be Alive. So people, guess what, today is my birthday. I am 46 while I'm recording a few days before, but on Friday, June 11, I will be 46. And I want to give a shout out to all my Gemini buddies, including my sister, who was born two years and six days after me. Everybody always thinks she's older though. Special shout out to her for being my only biological sister in the world ever. So I couldn't have asked for a better little sister than her. So Happy birthday, everyone. And I chose the title of this episode. Because I was thinking back to different birthdays that I've had. And I would say maybe like 16 years ago, 16 or 17 years ago, maybe 17 years ago, I went up to Boston with a group of friends to celebrate pride and Happy Pride. I want to go back to pride in a second. And so we were up there the event happened to fall on my birthday weekend. And it was What a great idea, right? It's Pride Month. It's my birthday. So we headed up to Boston, and we were just walking around and everybody was having a good time. And I believe my friends were off maybe getting a drink or something. And I was just sitting there on a bench and some quote unquote, random guy came up to me. And he starts singing, born to be alive. You were born to be alive. And I was like, I'm looking around, like wondering what the heck is happening. Like he wasn't trying to hurt me or anything. He was literally singing these words to me. And then he then he walked away. So I immediately told my, my buddy who came back first and I was like, hey, this guy just came up to me. And he's like, Oh, that's a song. And I was like, What? I've never even heard of it. I guess it's a song that came out in the late 1970s. Born to be alive. And he's like, yeah, it's a song. And that person just came up to me a stranger on my birthday, and started singing. So I think that was a beautiful, happy birthday from the universe, right? So born to be alive. You know, I'll share a few things. Like my thoughts about life related to the past 46 years. And I'll do a reading and I'll wrap things up so I can go celebrate me. But here's what I've learned so far. One, I'm still learning, I guess I've learned so far that I'm still learning to it goes by fast. Like I can close my eyes and see my little three year old self walking into preschool in crying like a baby. Because I was so scared to leave my mom. And then like, at the end of day, I was crying like a baby because I didn't want to leave because it was so much fun. I mean, I think they had like the best toys ever in preschool like a little fake kitchen. Like all these things to play with all these kids to hang out with. Yeah, so I mean, and that was, to me not too long ago doesn't seem like it was four and a half decades ago. It goes by fast. I can remember my little five year old self in kindergarten. Actually, the kindergarten classroom that I went to is probably within 15 minutes from here. And it's this round room facing the playground. I just remember the posters with the different colors, you know how like, there's like the red, the blue, the purple, and then posters for math that have the numbers, and then posters that have the different shapes in their names. And one day, I think I might have told the story. My dad came to pick me up. And there might have been a miscommunication between my parents. But like who was because my mom usually picks me up but something must have happened. And my dad showed up in his police uniform, and everyone was in all like, wow, like who is this person? I'm like, yep, that's my dad. So I remember that little five year old self. I remember my high school self, Oh, geez, I just read my journal from actually it was my early college self, but my high school self, my college self, like all that stuff was not that long ago. And let me just share two stories real quick. But I do for my life coach, my little brother, Mikey, I'm sorry. Because he totally helped me that summer between high school and college because remember, I was training to for soccer for preseason. And I didn't have anyone to help me like, I just did everything on my own, like I made sure I like set up my own routines like for practice my running routes, like my different running routines, like interval running that I needed to do, practice all these skills. Because over the summer, they had sent PC set a package of the different things that you're going to be expected to do. One of the things was when you get back to campus or get to campus, like if you wanted to make the team you had to be able to run two miles in under 14 minutes. So part of my training was making sure I was fast, right, you're at least able to maintain a certain level of over two miles. And my little brother would run with me but not run, he would ride the bike I would run and to have this actually have a four mile route, but I could break it up into a two mile route. And the poor kid, I can't remember at one point, but he was you know, obviously like helping me out like come on cha you can do it. And I'm like, shut up. I just didn't want to hear any talking like I was trying to focus on my running. And here he is trying to encourage me so about 30 years later, I'm sorry, Mikey, you're really good buddy to have not just then but now. So that's my high school self but my early college self so I just gifted to a good friend of mine, her daughters who want to graduated, but another one who graduated last year from high school, they're going off to school this fall a journal because I if you don't journal, you should pick up this practice. Like I'm telling you, it's the best gift that you can give to yourself. So I first started journaling, January of nine, teen got 1994 so my first journal is from like January 1994, to about may 1994. And that was my second year. I'm sorry, my first year when I was a freshman at PC second semester. And I reread it. And what was really amazing about it was that I was like, wow, I wish I could talk like after I read that I wish I could talk to my 18 year old self and kind of just tell her something's, like tell her everything's gonna be okay. Like tell her Yeah, like stuffs gonna happen, but you'll be alright and like, and it really turned into then me kind of finding my older self, and giving myself right now a pep talk of sorts about life. But it was really interesting. So another thing I learned, write down stuff that happens because you're not going to remember everything you're not. But if you have something that you can go back to that you've written, you'll be amazed at all the things that you've missed, but that you caught because you wrote them down. Um, so Time flies, right? It just goes by really fast. I, I like I said, I'm 46 but I still feel like I can remember my younger versions of myself. What else can I tell you about life that I've learned? It can be a roller coaster sometime, right? In a good and bad way. You know, like, exciting, with different things and opportunities that might come your way. But also sad and painful. You know that it's like this scary ride, you know? So it isn't always great. But somehow you find a way to manage and keep going. Another thing I've learned friends, finding and having true friendships really make a difference in your life. I mean, I'm talking about people who will be honest with you, no matter what, who will, you know, tell you the truth and who will have fun with you along the way. Right People that you can be yourself with and enjoy life with friends, make some of the biggest difference is or have made some of the biggest differences in my life. Okay, I'm a little little all over the place. But the friend piece reminded me of pride. And as I mentioned, there was one birthday I spent, there might have been a few birthdays I spent at pride, actually, because pride takes place in June. I've done Boston pride, Providence pride, and San Diego pride. that one, that one was really fun. I'm going back like 20 plus years for that one. That one was awesome. So if you don't know the history of it, let me just this is from USA Today earlier this month. And I think people who just see some advertisements or the rainbow flag, just think that it's just a fun way to celebrate the LGBTQ plus community. But let's break it down a little bit here. For decades, it's been celebrated in June in the United States. Oh, I would love to do some sort of international pride. I think my cousin was saying that they biked through pride somewhere in Spain once I would love to do that. I got to put that on my bucket list. So it's parades and events. And it draws it's to honor sorry, LGBTQ voices and experiences. And it's a way for our community and allies to get together to celebrate each other. So obviously, last year, a lot of events were, you know, halted because of COVID. But let's give you some history here. Why do we celebrate in June? know their names Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. It all started with the Stonewall uprising in New York City on June 28 1969, following a police invasion of a gay club located in Greenwich Village. Side note, I believe there's a gay bar called cubbyhole, which is so cute and great. It's tiny. Hence the name probably, if you've never been before, I have no clue if it's I think they might have some outside seating. But if you're in New York City, I highly recommend you check it out. But anyway, this is different. Following a police invasion of a gay club located in Greenwich Village. riots and protests ensued throughout the city. The majority of people at Stonewall were either drag queens or gay men of color. So Titus Montalvo, a hairdresser and makeup artists who was 16 at the time, told USA Today's delvin Brown so a majority of this or this started as a protest with mostly drag queens or gay men of color. And at at that time in New York City, quote unquote, masquerading as a member of the opposite sex was a crime. Although trans dent gender activist Marsha p Johnson didn't arrive to the bar until the riot writing had started. Many credit Johnson for throwing the first brick or shock class that sparked the riots. Regardless, Johnson and other black and Latinx transgender women are now being recognized and hailed another transgender woman involved with Sylvia Rivera and activists and self professed drag queen. Rivera fought for transgender rights alongside Johnson, co creating star, the street transvestite action revolutionaries to help homeless LGBT Q. youth. Rivera died in 2002 and Johnson died in 1992. Last year, it was announced a monument commemorating both the women would be built in New York's Greenwich Village. The Stonewall Inn was declared a historic landmark by the City of New York in 2015, and later named a National Monument by President Barack Obama in 2016. The Obama always doing the right thing. Right. The Stonewall Riots sparked a shift an increase in LGBTQ activism. However, more work for the transgender community is still needed. In 2021 13 transgender men and women were killed. According to the Human Rights Campaign. 12 of the 13 kills were either black Latinx or Asian. And it goes on to talk about the history of you know, different flies because her pride there are different visual representations of the movement. And in Philadelphia, you know, typically we think about the rainbow one but in 2017, black and brown were added to promote more diversity inclusion and to honor the lives of black and brown LGBTQ individuales so then there's, you know, the lesbian flag, the trans flag. And that's just a little bit about pride that it basically started as a riot with mostly transgender individuals and gay, black and Latin x men in New York. So that's that it kind of has a very different feel than what if you've ever gone to one, what it might have been like the first, you know, during that Riot. Um, so what else have I learned? Let me see here. Life is short. It's kind of crazy. Sometimes, oh, you should get a dog. And at least once in your lifetime, you should experience a puppy. Because they're out of control. Out of control, like I'm talking about, like at 5am ready to like, play. Like they have the energy of an energizer bunny in the most loving funny things ever. So if you haven't had that experience, you should definitely consider I mean, unless you're allergic to dogs. What else? Take care of yourself. I mean, I always say this, but you have to move your body, I do have to thank my neighbor, who is graciously opened up her pool for Aqua jogging. And it's great to get back into the pool. But if you don't have access to a pool, you know, walk, run. Do what ever it is like some video or something. Make sure you're moving your body, it really does make a difference in the way your blood flows. And the way you breathe in the way that you experience. Life. I'm telling you, it helps you out and sweat. I don't know about you, but I need a good sweat for it to count as a workout. So for me like walking and hiking, it's good. Don't get me wrong. It's It's good. But I need like a good run. to sweat stuff out. I guess that's waste, right? It gets waste out of your body. That's what's what is waste? Um, let's see, what else have I learned? I think the biggest thing is that I'm still learning. And I still feel like a kid in this world. That I'm still learning and I still feel like a kid. And the more or the older I get. The more I'm trying to remind myself stop like stressing out about stuff. Let's say I only have, let's say I only have, I don't even know three decades left to go. Who knows, I have no clue, like how much time I have left. But in this next phase in this next part, I need to figure out a way to enjoy it. And to really make it count. So if I'm born to be alive, I need to make sure that I'm living from born to be alive. I need to make sure that I'm living yes, we do die. Yes, that will happen. But between my birth, June 11 19 1975 to my last breath whenever that is I need to make sure that I'm living and for me living means laughing, loving, having fun, and even through the bad just trying to make the best out of it. So are you living, even if it's not your birthday? Today? Are you living in how are you choosing to live? If it's hard, you know, sometimes people need to reset. Life does get hard. Sometimes people need to reset by actually taking medicine honestly. or moving or getting a new job. Or you know, I don't know, however it is that you need to reset. It's not a bad thing. It's making sure you live longer, right. I think the last thing I'm going to end on is one of my favorite artists, not artists, sorry, authors. And you know who it is right? All of you know who it is. You better know by now. Reverend Deborah L. Johnson. And she from your deepest intent writes Your world needs more understanding. Your world needs more compassion, your world needs a greater sense of harmony and unity. Your world needs to be needs to move beyond the wholesale labeling of some people as good, and others as evil. It is the ones who perceive themselves as good, who in fact label the other one's evil. However, as you well know, everyone is thinking the same thing about the other. So the ones who think they are good are calling the other ones evil. However, the ones that they are calling evil perceive themselves as being good and consider the other ones, those who think of themselves as good to be the ones who are truly evil, this is a vicious cycle. The answer to this dilemma is not will the real evil one please stand up anymore than it is, will the good one, please stand up. Life is not either or life is an end. It is the and that you must be able to live with. What do I mean when I say this, you are so busy trying to distinguish yourself from distinguished distinguished yourselves one from another, that you get into a tremendous amount of judgment and condemnation about what each other is doing. It is not your place to judge. You can't tell what is really going on. in someone else's life. You can barely figure out what's going on in your own life. You must move beyond the tendency to want to draw opinions based upon limited information. No matter how much you think you may know about someone else's attitude, feelings, actions or behavior, you still are not privy to the private goings on of their heart, which includes their mind. Therefore it is incumbent upon you do not get stuck in formulating and acting upon the opinions that you gather strictly through your human observations. There's so much more than that which meets the eye. As you will know, there are at least two sides to every story. And then there's the truth. Well, we here we are here to be about truth. If you're deeply entrenched in your own side, then that is evidence enough that you have not found the truth. What is your deepest intent? My children? What is your deepest intent? Is your intent to have a win win for everybody? Is your intent to embrace your fellow human beings of all walks and stations in life as equal to you in stature in nature? Is it your intent to live the life that you have been ordained to live even before this incarnation came into being? Is it your intent to be a hard harbinger of goodwill and an ambassador of peace? Are you willing to clear out the rubble the weeds the thorns and thistles in the rocks from your own consciousness? So you may create the fertile soil for these seeds of oneness to germinate and grow to complete fruition? What exactly is your intent? Remember that if you don't have the intent of oneness then you will always revert to the default position which was defined in the beginning of this letter as duality. It is duality. Ultimately, duality dualistic thinking can only get you so far. If you have brought into duet if you have bought into dualistic thinking then you're fighting for your own egos limited perspective of what it needs to have what it needs to perceive you. Sorry to preserve itself. There is a self perpetuating quality here that cannot be helped because of the way the human psyche operates. Understanding how the human psyche operates is strategic in your ability to work with, as well as overcome its gravitational pull in ties. Stand up for the oneness. They're in is your salvation your salvation is in the oneness. Understanding that you are one with me, you understand that you are one with each other? You are one with the universe You are one with your own selves. Will you live in the one? Don't answer too quickly. But consider the deeper implications. Why is it that your human consciousness always deals in dualities? It deals in dualities because it is in a constant state of contrast and comparison. It gets a sense of who it is by being able to define what it is not. oneness blurs the lines oneness makes the distinction, less distinct. oneness takes the barriers away and leaves the ego feeling helpless as well as naked. The ego doesn't like to be naked, the ego likes to be cloaked in all of its armor and garb. The ego has a very difficult time surrendering to the concept and the notion that it is not something distinct, discrete and therefore special in the universe. It needs to it needs to to localize itself and to have a sense of control over its destiny. The oneness requires a much different approach approach. The oneness requires that you see yourself in everybody else, and that you see everybody else within yourself. The oneness requires you to understand that you live across the whole continuum of expression. Each of you has the capability of being a quote unquote saint, and a quote unquote, sinner. None of you are either one exclusively, it's just a question of how aware you are of yourselves in me, and how much you allow that awareness to reign supreme in your life. What are the implications of the fact that none of you is exclusively saint or sinner, it means that all of you have the capacity to do or be anything. This takes us back to the concept of choice, you have been given a choice. This is a concept that many of you find difficult to accept, you relish and revel in your sense of choice, however, you're angry with me for having given it to you in the first place. Too many of you would much prefer a world in which no one was able to make decisions that could be to the detriment of anyone else. If I have the power to do anything, you question Why have I not used my power to bring about that thing? Jesus posed a question in his day, which is still relevant today. No you not. That you are God's must understand that in order for you to be the God that began of me that you're, you must choose to be it. You must have the deep intent, you must be willing to live in a place of transcendence, above the push and pull of the collective human consciousness upon your own individual consciousness. Without choice, you cannot commit. Without choice, there is no volition, no direction of the will. To be the God gotten to me that you are you must love. You must love more than the lovely the lovable and those who love you. You must love the ones you don't like the ones you have no genuine affection for. Without choice you cannot love beyond a sense of commonality. To express God like love human beings need to love with a gubbio love which is a direction of one's will. This is the intent to love. You must choose to direct your will towards a doppio love. However, too many of you are allowing your dualistic thinking to prevent you from choosing love as an option. You say love as an option for what? Love as an option for everything. Do you understand what I'm saying? Love is the answer to everything you ask why Love is the answer to everything. Love is the answer to everything because love is the healing energy of the universe that overcomes the energy of separation. It's the love that brings everything back to a state of unified wholeness. When you are in a state of love, you are no longer experiencing separation, the evidence of dualistic consciousness you feel at one with what you love. This is true whether you're talking about some kind of chore, exercise, or assignment or whether we're talking about some kind of interpersonal or familial relationship. The more you love, the more connected you feel. Conversely, the more you resist, the more distant and strange you feel. And the more difficult matters become. The moment you allow love to creep into the question, I mean equation, he'll begin to see that what you're stressing about is not that big of a deal. The moment you start to love, all of the walls you have put up, start to come down. The moment you start to love all of those mountains, that you have created in your consciousness, become the molehills, that they really are. This is what scripture means when it says that you can say to him oh and be removed. This removal is a change in a state of in a state or condition. When you love the state and condition of a mountain. In your mind, change. So what do you want my children? What do you want? Do you want to be right? Do you want to stand on your rightness? Do you want to be able to say without any reservation or hesitation who's going to heaven and who's going to hell do you want to be so sure that you're on my right side that you aren't even concerned if anybody else is on the left? What is your real intent here? You really need to think about this life as a way of boomeranging back around upon itself. If There's no compassion in your heart for everyone else. Well, that's what you get to experience you receive with the same measure with what you give. Do you give compassion? Do you give forgiveness? Do you give love? And do you give these things only to those who you think deserve it and or the ones you like? What does it serve you that? Just as it says, in Scripture? What good does it serve you to do things? If your heart is not in the right place? What good? does it serve you to be standing on the street corners and praying and making a whole lot of noise? Don't even the hypocrites do that? Where does that put you on the spiritual ladder? No, no, no, until you can get used to the fact that I don't love you. Any more than I love anybody else. You will never enter into my kingdom. Until you understand that I do not elevate you as much as you elevate yourselves, you will not enter into my kingdom until you are unwilling to identify with the ones that you despise. As your brothers and sisters in me, you will not enter into the kingdom. And people I don't believe kingdom is in reference to like, again, I think it's a state of mind, right? A consciousness. That's what it seems like. This is all about that I've been reading about lately. So on that note, Happy. Happy Friday. You say until next time, except your sparkle, surrender to it and allow it to be so until then. keep shining