Season 2: Episode 4: What's Your Strategy?

What's your strategy for change and is it working? Implementing change can be hard but what's your strategy? Episodes released on Tuesdays or Fridays. Thank you for tuning in.

Transcript

Darline Berrios: 0:04

Hey, everyone, welcome to Share Your Sparkle. I'm your host, Dr. Darline Berrios. And this is season two, Episode Four. What's your strategy? Hi, people, I hope you're doing well. Just a heads up, I will only probably release one day a week, whether it's a Tuesday or Friday. And that's because I am focusing on writing a book. So, you know, I originally started, share your sparkle because in my dream, it was a book that I had written over. Wow, now it's 11 years. And I was like, Well, let me just take my podcast and transcribe it. And maybe that'll be my book. But I need to actually write the book. Okay. So I'm taking time to work on that. And some other ideas that I have in mind for books and we'll see how it goes. So in reevaluating where I need to put my energy, I'm putting it on writing. But I also want to continue the podcast so I will release at least once a week for now. And I'm going to start off with a poem. It's by Ava limone. I wanted to pronounce it other Li mon but she pronounces it ADA and she is a poet. Edelman is the author of lucky wreck, from 2006, the big fake world 2006 sharks in the river, rivers and bright, dead things, a finalist for the National Book Award, and the National books Critics Circle Award. She earned an MFA from NYU, and is the recipient of fellowships from the New York foundation for the arts, the Provincetown, Fine Arts work center. Side note petone is awesome, and the Kentucky foundation for women. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including the New Yorker, Harvard review, and borough St. Louis molinism, Faculty of the Queen's University of Charlotte low residency MFA program, and the 24 Pearl Street online program for the Provincetown Fine Arts work center. She splits her time between Kentucky, California and New York and I was reading an interview about her. And I was just curious to know a little bit more in the author asked her why does she Oh, she writes poetry. So the I'm sorry, the interviewer asked her. Why do you write poetry? She says, I wrote poetry to help me connect with the world. I write to feel grounded and alive, and real and breathing. And right here. And hopefully, as I work on that process, my poems might help others do the same. I'm not saying that they offer a tonic or a sound, but I'm trying to wave from my own leaky boat. And she talks about growing up. Her parents were divorced when she was eight. And so having two households, two or four parents raising her and her heritage, Mexican, American, Irish, Scottish and German but she also says she's part line and part dragon depending on the day, so a little sense of humor there. And this is her poem called instructions on not giving up. More than the few ship funnels breaking out of the crab apple tree, more than the neighbor's almost obscene display of cherry limbs, shoving their cotton candy colored blossoms to the slate sky of spring rains. It's the greening of the trees that really gets to me. When all the shock of white and taffy, the world babbles and trinkets, leave the payment strewn with a confetti of aftermath. The leaves come patient plotting a green skin growing over whatever winter did to us a return to the strange idea of continuous living despite the mess of us, the hurt the empty. Find then I'll take it. The tree seems to say a new slick leaf unfurling like a fist to an open palm. I'll take it all. So that's a lemon that I think that was published in 2017. Instructions on not giving up. So what's your strategy? I this episode came about because about a month ago. I had I don't know if I mentioned this but there's a book group that my siblings and cousins and I are a part of at first to start with just my siblings, and then we expanded the group. And I can't remember when, but at some point, my sister Oh, I'm sorry, let me add to that. I started reading Harry Potter to some of my nieces and nephews, the younger ones. And at some point, one of my nephews was always like, coming on late. And, and it was because like he was taking really long showers. So I go to my sister, I'm like, what's your strategy? Like? She's like, What are you talking about? Like, well, what are you going to do to change that behavior? And of course, me being a teacher, right? You know, like, we have 400 things as like, tips and tricks to help change behavior with kids. And you know what, that's what we do in the classroom all the time, right? So she's like, I have no strategy. And the funny thing is that at that point, I had gotten a dog. And he was I don't know what it was that he was doing. But basically, he was being a puppy, a bad dog. And my brother, his response was, what's your strategy with being shut up? I don't have one. So it made me think about life, and what we're doing to either change our I mean, that's the only thing that we can do, honestly, is really change your own behavior, but to tackle life and to change behaviors that we don't want. So that's a question that we use often. And when we banter bantering with each other, it's like, what's your strategy for that? Basically, like, how are you going to fix this? So I have a few tips. And it also makes me think to like how sometimes not having a strategy is your strategy, right? It's kind of like not making a decision is a decision. And we wonder often, like, why isn't this changing? While it's like we're not doing anything about it, or if we are doing something about it, it might not be the best approach. And please, don't. And I haven't been the best at using the best strategies all the time in my life. But there are a few tricks that I've used that worked. So what's your strategy? I think it's a good thing to reflect on, in terms of your life and trying to figure out, you know, what are you doing to address the behavior concern, whatever it is, and maybe think about that one point, I, so I've been active, physically active, since I can remember even like as a child running out in the woods, just playing outside often. And then eventually, you know, getting into organized sports, like in third grade with soccer, and continuing that, at least into the beginning of college. And then after that, even though it wasn't competitively I was doing intramurals, and just on my own, you know, running and going to the gym. So being active has been something that just feels like a very important part of me, and how I work. And at one point, or actually over many points, you know, I talked to my little brother, my life coach, and I'm like, Oh, I want to get stronger, stronger in terms of like, building more muscle, not necessarily as a bodybuilder. But I noticed as I get older, that my muscle mass seems to be changing. But all I was doing the whole time was running. And I'm really good at keeping up with my cardio, I mean, that's my, that's my strength, I will run. And I will do four miles, six miles, whatever the case may be. And I'm like, I can do that four to five times a week. And that's, that's great. But my little brother was like, you need to change it up. He's like, stop. He's like, don't want at least one mile, take those 1520 minutes to do lifting or something else. And I'm like, now I don't want to, I'm like, but I still want to change my body, you idiot. Nothing's gonna change unless you do something to change. Which is true. Right? So my strategy wasn't working. It was working in one sense, because cardio was really good. But it wasn't working in the sense that I wanted what I wanted to change. So I don't know I've been running for like 20 plus years on my own, like, that's just what I do. I typically have the same running route. And then at some point, I want to say maybe two years ago, two and a half years ago, I was like, let me really let me really change right let me really change my strategy here to gain some more muscle and and where I worked. There was a wonderful gym across the street, and like World Class gym and had a pool, and one of my colleagues was an avid runner, and she injured herself. So she we you know, we always talk about running and she said that she had an injury so she was taking it easy and wasn't running outside but using the pool. You know, for her recovery, and I was like, Oh, that's pretty cool. I'm like, I've never used a pool for exercise. And I have no clue how to I know that sounds strange. But I was just like, I know how to go in a pool and have fun, you know, and hang out, play Marco Polo. But I was like, I don't really know how to use a pool for exercise. So she's like, let me Let's go one morning. She's like, I've been awkward jogging. And like, what the heck is that? She's like, no, it's really great. And I was like, all right, she was willing to, like, take a morning and part of her day and show me like her routine. And what she did. And the good thing is, is that I was willing to go. And I, that was really helpful, because I needed a buddy to kind of just show me and help me get started. And after that, I was fine. I did it on my own. And if you've never been Aqua jogging, I strongly recommend it. Or if you haven't done pool exercises, Google it, find someone who knows what they're doing. And try it out. If you have access to a pool, or you can get access to a pool, I know now things are a little different. Like for example, I mean, I don't go to my gym anymore, but I do have some neighbors and a friend. And this summer have graciously, you know, offered their pool for exercise. So that's really nice. Swimming, excited to get back in the pool, because I haven't since you know, the pandemic started over a year ago. But my friend or my colleague was like, she showed me the tools. And, and for me, I use a belt like an aqua jogging belt. And basically, it's like a big foam belt that you put on around your waist. And she showed me these different routines that she did. And it's like these different interval runs. And it was really awkward. It's kind of like it was for me like when I run or when I haven't been for a run in a long time. And then I go for a run, it just feels like really choppy. And not uncomfortable. But I just feel like my body's not in the rhythm of what it is that it needs to do. So when I first went Aqua jogging, I swear for the 30 minutes that I was in the pool was laughing the whole time because I felt so awkward. Like I was just like laughing, which I think was a good workout anyways, you shouldn't take yourself too seriously. And she was showing me how she would, you know, have different speeds almost like if you're shifting, you know, if you had a standard car. So first year is kind of like a walk second year as a jog. Third gear is maybe like a sprint. And so we would do those different speeds for different intervals of time. So a minute, two minutes. And it was amazing. It was amazing. I had a great time. And then after that I included Aqua jogging in my routine, my workout routine. So two days a week I would spend in the pool, two days a week, I would spend outside the pool, and then I would do three days of lifting. So finally I listened to my brother's words. And he sent me some material, I would do different workouts, you know, for my buys and tries or for my back. And I did that fairly consistently, I would say for about a year and then the pandemic hit. So then that was on pause. But in that year, I did see my body change in the way that I wanted it to change. And it's because I changed my strategy. I didn't just talk about it. I got some help, and found some people who were willing to show me some things. And then I was able to get where I wanted to go. And how often do we really take the time to do it. And then like really commit to the change. Because what when I did, like things started to change in the way that I wanted them to in this case, it was really related to my body. So what's your strategy? Whether it's for changing your body, changing your mind changing your health? What's your strategy? And is it working? Like are you? Are you evaluating it? are you really doing something that's effective? Or as I was saying before you just doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting something different to happen and it's not happening. So think about your strategy. You know, what is your strategy, and one year, I think this is in general, this is a second. Not so much story, but a phrase that I saw I have the momentum extension on my computer. And it shows a nice image. And it says Good morning, Darlene or good afternoon. And then it usually has a quote at the bottom and a mantra for the day. And about a year ago, one of the mantras that showed up on my screen on the screen was eat the frog. And I was like, eat the frog, what the heck does that mean? I don't know and had never heard of it before. And then I googled it. And basically, it's like, when you have something hard to do, just do it. And there is actually an extension to this. Eat the frog. And if you have two frogs to eat, eat the big one first. So if you have a few things that you have to tackle, do the hardest one first. And I think in general, that's how I work, but I hadn't heard that term before. So I think that's a good strategy. Eat the frog, right. Or if you have to eat the big frog first, and then it makes the next part a little bit easier, you know, a little bit smoother, because it's not as hard as the first part of whatever it is that you have to do. So that's my life tip for today. Um, The next book that my cousins and I are gonna tackle in about a week or so is atomic habits, tiny changes, remarkable results. I bet that will help us in terms of strategies, I will keep you posted. But um, and it's by James clear, so atomic habits, tiny changes, remarkable results. So I'm sure in there, there are some strategies that might help with just tackling physical, emotional, or daily things that come our way. That's, that's my guess. Okay, people don't wish me luck on my writing, send me some good energy, so that I stay connected. One of my strategies actually, to help me kind of get started was talking to a writer, I actually interviewed a writer this week. So I'm very thankful that she gave me part of her time and shared some concrete strategies that she uses as a writer. And I hope to implement that and one of them is basically making writing a job you know, I mean, I do have a job in my own business, but making it a part of my day, like you would do your job. So that's why I'm pulling back a little bit on the podcast and trying to give more energy to the writing piece. So send me good energy. But at the end of the day, it's really me who has to put the energy into it. Alright, people, except your sparkle, surrender to it, and allow it to be so. Until then, keep shining